It Seemed Like a Good Idea At The Time.

It always does and it never is. That is the lesson you can take away from today's post.

What seemed like a good idea?

Yes I suppose I'd better tell you about it.

It was late at might, about midnight game time, and there was someone in trade organising a Trial of The Grand Crusader pug, and I wanted in on it as there is a very nice trinket that drops there and my trinkets are not just bad, they are down right embarrassing.

Anyway this guy wanted you to whisper him your role, gear score and achievement. The first two I could get but since this is a new account I have no achievements at all. Thus there was no spot for me.

We were talking about it in guild chat, and about how I hated myself for now knowing my gear score. when Joe pops up with the suggestion that I should whisper him my penis size and post the response in g-chat.

I thought this was a fantastic plan and promptly did so.

I whispered him with the length of my penis and asked him if it was long enough to do ToGC. He whispered back with saying it was to long. I then posted both the question and answer in G-chat. The question because it made the answer make more sense.

This had two regrettable effects.

The first of which was to instantly turn G-chat into a copy of trade chat when the kids get off school. It went on for about 15-20 minute with Items and achievements linked to make sexual innuendos.

The second was (and this I didn't think about until I logged off) that a whole bunch of guild members, including at least one female player, now knows the length of my penis.



Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.

The Trinket Is A Lie!

It's a myth I tell you. A fallacy designed to drive me ever closer to insanity, which admitedly was never that far away to begin with, but that's besides the point. They're out to get me I tells ya.

What the hell am I rambling on about?

You don't know?

If you don't know you can't be in on the conspiracy, so I guess it's ok to tell you about it. It's the mythical Forge of Souls trinket that I've been after. That's right, the Needle-Encrusted Scorpion. I want it's juicy juicy proc to at least give me periods of 100% armour penetration until I can hard cap it.

But you know what?

It doesn't really exist. It's my theory that it was randomly distributed to players so that they could pretend that it drops in Heroic Forge of Souls just so that every morning I will log on and run the instance. As my proof I have been running the instance every day since 24 hours after I hit level 80.


That's right I have run it 14 times so far and no trinket. It's not just that I haven't won it. I haven't even seen the damned thing.

What? You haven't seen it either?

Watch out then, after they finally push me over the edge into insanity they may come after you next.


Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.

Ugly Helm Controversy.

Earlier I told you about how I became the proud owner of the "Worlds Ugliest Helm" and about the entertainment it provides me with. Sometimes, however, it attracts a little too much attention from the wrong sort of person.

What am I talking about?

Well there's only one thing for it.

It's story time folks.



Once there was a little warrior named Dorfageddon, and one day he decided to pug Pit of Saron. He waited in line patiently until he entered the instance together with a Mage, a Warlock, a Holy Paladin, and a confused looking Bear. They all said hello to each other, except the Bear who was looking around wondering what the hell he was doing in this scary looking place.

Despite his trepidation the Bear boldly charged the enemy and shortly into the battle Dorfageddon was to realise that not only was the Bear confused as to why he was there, but also as to what he was doing at all. This was alright though as Dorfageddon was always happy to let someone else, anyone at all in fact, have the big nasty men beat up on them instead of him.

And so they continued along there way with Dorfageddon timidly poking at the enemy with his axe just in case they suddenly decided to look at him instead of the Bear. Preoccupied as he was with poking the enemy, Dorfageddon had all but forgotten that he was wearing 'The Worlds Ugliest Helm' and had forgotten the distracting effect it can have of your fellow adventurers. Sure enough 'The Worlds Ugliest Helm' had cast it's spell over the Mage, who could now pay attention to nothing else.

"WTF," said the Mage, "a warrior wearing leather?"

Realising at once what had happened Dorfageddon replied with his usual disarming response designed to let the affected agree with the statement and continue with whatever they were doing before having been distracted by 'The Worlds Ugliest Helm'.

"Ugly as hell isn't it?" he said.

"Warriors aren't meant to wear leather." said the Mage ignoring Dorfageddon and continuing on with his line of thought.

'Uh oh' thought Dorfageddon. 'This Mage has obviously been afflicted with the My-Penis-Is-Bigger-Than-Yours syndrome.' So he opened up Recount, the universally recognised penis size indicator, and was reassured by the numbers that not only was his penis still the biggest, but by a large margin too.

Still trying to be civil about the matter Dorfageddon decided to employ reasoning upon the Mage to try and smooth the whole matter over.

"Just look at the stats on the helm, they're awesome." he said.

"There's no strength on leather items." countered the Mage. "Take another look at your talent tree your missing the bonus to strength."

Dorfageddon looked at his talent tree, then he looked at 'The Worlds Ugliest Helm'. "Oh my god your right!" he exclaimed, "I'm missing out on a whole 4% strength from one item. Whatever shall I do?".

His sarcasm was unfortunately lost on the Mage who went on to say, " It's not just lost on one item, it's on your total strength."

Since the confused Bear had continued to engage more of the enemy ignoring the exchange, Dorfageddon poked at some of them while he pondered this bizarre statement, completely at a loss as to how having a single leather item could negate the bonus to the rest of his strength.

At this point the paladin and the warlock decided to pipe up, having kept silent so far.

"Whatever he's wearing it seems to work.", said the Warlock.

"Dorfageddon is doing fine, leave him alone.", said the Holy Paladin.

The Mage proceeded to turn his attention upon the Paladin and Warlock and start arguing with them, while the confused Bear kept flailing at new opponents seemingly oblivious to the chatter behind him.

Having come to the conclusion that the Mage had been eating too many of his 'special' cookies, Dorfageddon decided to abandon all pretence of being polite. "QQ at me when I'm not top of the damage meter.", he said to the Mage.

"I just can't believe that you are actually wearing leather as a Warrior." rejoined the Mage, ignoring Dorfageddons none too subtle reference to the fact that he was doing his job better than the Mage was.

Finally having had enough Dorfageddon said, "You obviously don't have a clue and arguing with you is a waste of my time, so welcome to my ignore list.". He then placed the Mage on his wonderful ignoring device, which acts much like putting your fingers in your ears except that you can still hear people who's opinions are actually worth listening to.

Dorfageddon bathed in the now idiot free silence that descended upon him, and got on with the job of prodding the current batch of foe's upon which the confused Bear was flailing. After a while both the Paladin and the Warlock started yelling at the Mage.

"Don't be suck a dickhead." yelled the Warlock.

"Don't try to be an elitist jerk in your Tier 9 welfare.", yelled the Paladin.

"Is he saying something?", asked Dorfageddon divining that only the person on his ignoring device could have elicited such a response from his companions.

"He's still complaining." said the warlock.

"He's crying." said the Paladin.

"I see." said Dorfageddon.

The confused Bear said nothing but did engage in battle with Forgemaster Garfrost, one of the mightiest foes they would encounter in the Pit of Saron.

Despite having engaged such a deadly foe, the argument between the Mage, Paladin and Warlock raged on. All through the fight and continued into the next encounters they fought.

During this time the argument revealed to Dorfageddon that the Mage was using the wrong Gems. He however refused to comment since his knowledge of Mage's was restricted to the fact that they made a lot of wavy had gestures and stood as far away from their opponent as possible.

Eventually the argument resulted in the Paladin prevailing on the Powers That Be to send the Mage away. This will only work if all the other companions agree to the proposal. All answered yes with the exception of the Bear to whom the proposition of a yes or no question was too much to comprehend with all the other difficulties he had to deal with.

So on they fought all through their encounters with the lesser minions and into the fight against the second of the Overlords they would face, Krick and his gigantic minion Ick.

All through the fight they also fought each other. Until at the point where Ick was unleashing his explosion of poison the Mage, rather than run away, ran towards the hideous fiend. Resulting in his untimely, yet hilarious, death.

There was much laughter had by all, except the Bear, who had been so confused by the many things this fight made him do other than flail at the enemy that he had ended up out of the fighting area and around the corner far far away from the Paladin who's job it was to keep him alive.

This meant that when Ick started moving again he sped all the way over to the Bear and killed him. Having Killed the Bear Ick immediately turned around and headed for the Warlock with the intention of making his demon consorting self into a demon consorting smear on the floor.

Hating the fact, yet realising that it was there only chance of victory, Dorfageddon threw down his big axe and picked up his shield and smaller axe. He then hurled the vilest insult he could think of at Ick to draw his attention away from the Warlock.

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!", he yelled at Ick.

Enraged by the defamation of his parents Ick immediately turned on Dorfageddon, who huddled behind his shield using every trick he knew to stop Ick squishing him while the Warlock finished the beast off.

Victory achieved it was time to clean up the mess. The Paladin when over to cast his resurrection spell on the the confused and unfortunate Bear. Thinking that the paladin might refuse to do the same for the Mage Dorfageddon made his way over to the corpse and pulled out his Gnomish Army Knife, one of it's gadgets happens to be a defibrillator. He applied it to the Mage and despite shocking himself in the singing some of his precious beard Dorfageddon caused life to flow once again through the Mage's body.

It was at this point that the Bear spoke for the first time. "Sorry I've got to go." he said, then left the adventurers. The paladin immediately took the opportunity to once again call upon the Power That Be to remove the Mage from their presence. This time his plea was granted and the Mage was whisked away by some irresistible force.

Left waiting for some new companions to join them, the Paladin turned to wards Dorfageddon and asked, "Why are you wearing leather by the way?"

Dorfageddon then proceeded to explain to the Paladin and Warlock the stat priority of an Arms Warrior and how under certain conditions leather armour was good to wear.



The moral of this story?

If someone is wearing something or gemming for something that you don't understand and yet is still out preforming you. Don't be a dick, ask them about it, and maybe, just maybe, listen to what they have to say.

Anywho story time has given me a headache so that's it from me for now.


Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.

Reasons I Rage.

This was going to be a post about getting back into PvP but I've been raging a lot lately and thought I'd share with you a few of the reasons why I rage.

The biggest reason is that I'm out of cookies. As I have said before cookies make everything better and prevent me from flying off the handle every five minutes. But cookies are merely a preventative measure and not the reason I rage.

The main reason I rage is other people. Play an MMO for any great length of time an you will start to see the truth in the saying "Hell is other people.".

Why do other people make me rage?

Hmmm ... let me ramble on for a bit an then maybe you will understand.

Dorfageddon is a miner and I'm a courteous miner. What does this mean? It means that If I see another person next to a mine I will NOT try and swoop down to ninja it from them (and not just because a slow flying mount is not suited for swooping or anything other than plodding along). Or if I see someone fighting a mob next to a mine I will not start mining it despite them being practically on top of it. In fact if I see someone even in the general vicinity of the mine I have my eye on I will wait for them to kill whatever they are attacking and see if they wanted to mine the node. If not then I giggle gleefully as more of that saronite gold pours into my bags. If so then I just shrug and move off in search of the next unwanted node.

However the amount of times I have been fighting a mob not just next to, but right on top of a mine and had someone steal it from me is unbelievable. And it's not like transferring to a pvp server will fix this since 99% of the time it's a player from my own faction. This makes me rage.

Now this is completely unreasonable but whenever I see someone else mining a titanium node I rage. It should have been mine, it was mine, they were just too stupid to realise it and mined it before I got there. Everyone should know to do a /who search of their zone to check if I'm in it before mining a titanium node. They should but they don't. This makes me rage.

People mention gear score on the trade or general channels. This makes me rage.

Today I was running heroic Forge of Souls for the 8th time to try and get the arp trinket (it failed to drop again) and we got a hunter who asked at the start if anyone else would be rolling on the trinket if it dropped. I told him I definitely would be. He said he would then leave. I was actually very rude to him then, probably more than was warranted but you can blame that on the lack of cookies. To you making sure that you are the only person in the group who needs the trinket my seem a sensible precaution. To me this person was displaying a very unattractive form of greed which has ruined my gaming experience more than once. I'm more than willing to roll against people for loot that I want. Hell in cases like this I'm even happy to roll against tanks who want it. But to cause 4 other people to wait for a new member (even if it's not long when looking for a dps) just so that you can have a slightly higher chance of getting your loot is to me selfish as hell. Oh and you know what? You can run this instance every day, so it's not like your never going to get it. On more than one occasion over the past 3+ years we have had someone leave our guild over loot. Things like this are just plain stupid, selfish, greedy and one of the worst aspects I've come across in this game. This makes me rage.

Well ther eare more reasons I rage but I think I've bombarded you with enough of them for one day. There will however probably be a "Reasons I Rage part 2". It's unfortunate but I'm an angry angry man without cookies.


Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.

I Haz Muffin Tabard.

Finally it's mine, all mine, Muhahahahahahahaaaaaaaa.

Here it is in all it's muffiny glory.

I logged on this morning to do some dailies and there is was staring at me. I was so happy I started shouting "Viva La Muffin!" in the middle of Dalaran.

Still No Muffin Tabard.

On Wednesday there was a free spot going begging in the 25 man ICC raid, and as the only person online they took me along.

Why?

I can only assume that it was for the arms debuffs (yay bonus physical damage) and to give the raid something to laugh at. With my desperately low health pool threatening to kill me at every turn, and fighting for my place on the damage meter with the tanks and the off spec healers with their make shift gear sets, who were desperately trying to figure out with buttons made the "bad numbers" instead of the "good numbers", I reckon I made for some great comic relief. Not to mention "Panic Survival Mode" being constantly triggered by my low health pool cause me to emit my trademark girly squeal on a vent channel filled with 25 raiders.

Now like I said I was struggling for my place on the meter with the tanks and previously I had been told by an ICC 10 man pug that I couldn't pull 5k dps with my gear score.

I told the gear score addicts "Skill > Gear." they laughed at me since obviously my magic number was a direct correlation to my skill level.

I then told them that a Monkey with a stick could pull 5k dps in ICC with raid buffs and the 15% buff.

Guess what. I was right.

Taking the place of the stick wielding monkey I was pulling between 5.5 - 6.5k dps on boss fights.

I was rewarded for my simian like efforts by becoming the proud owner of the Worlds Ugliest Helm.


Why don't I hide my helm you ask?

Entertainment value.

It stands out so much on a Warrior and very few people have seen it since all the rogues are too ashamed to be seen wearing their T10 helm which has the same skin. Since Wednesday I have been asked about it on no less than five occasions. When asked about it I usually reply with,

"Ugly as hell isn't it :)"

or

"My momma says I look perdy."

or when asked why I'm wearing leather

"Because I swing that way."

As you can see the entertainment value is almost limitless. I'm tempted to find a fancy looking dress to wear with it to complete the look.

P.S. You see that tabard? Yes, the grey one. That's right. I still don't have my fricken muffin tabard. I demand my muffin tabard, that or a lifetime supply of cookies. The choice is yours.


Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.

My Trip to 80 ... Again.

Ok let start things off with a few statistics, the first of which being how long it took me to get to level 80. And remember this includes time spent playing on the auction house, levelling my engineering or even just running around in circles in some major city because I'm too tired to quest or even to log off. In addition I had no Heirloom items and could not train cold weather flying until level 77.


As a warrior you have 0 healing ability's until something like level 75 where you get enraged regeneration and that only restores 30% of your heath. So when things go wrong you usually die and this is how many times things went wrong for me. Although One of these was from my nitro boosts malfunctioning and sending me vertical instead of horizontal and the parachute you usually get failing to deploy for some odd reason. Another was from me jumping off the top of Wormrest Temple and instead of using my parachute keybind I hit the Sword and shield / Defensive Stance button, resulting in me trying to fend off the ground with a shield instead of floating gently down.


As you can see a lot of my levelling time looked like this,

Also a consequence of having no healing ability you use a lot of bandages, as I've mentioned many times before. Here is exactly how many you use.


Now that we have to boring stuff out of the way. I can tell you about some of the happenings on my way to level 80. One of the more "Thank god for buggy game mechanics." moments happened when I tried to solo the Cyclonian Warrior quest. Fortunately for me one of the knock back's he did threw me up onto a ledge where he bugged in place long enough for me to call in the level 80 back up (thank you again Sweetzor).
The same thing happened again in Ungoro Crater where my propensity for attacking first and checking if it's elite later got me into trouble with this guy.


Fortunately I was able to cause him to reset afterwards simply by throwing things at him until he got bored.

After this excitement I decided to take it easy for a bit and show my orphan around the place. We visited strange and interesting places and even got Lady Proudmoores autograph. I wanted to keep it for myself but the little brat wouldn't hand over my pet until he got it.


After my (mis)adventures in the old world it was off to Outlands where I spent a lot of time being stalked by this guy.

Until I learnt to fly that is. Early flying in Outlands makes levelling there so much easier and also allowed me to create the greatest mount ever a little earlier. I present to you the wonderful amasing Roflcopter.


Isn't Engineering wonderful :)

I breezed through the rest of Outlands doing hardly any of it at all before moving on to Northrend. Where I got many interesting quests.

Some of which made you die.


Or leave you body behind. Apparently it was just getting in the way.


You got to ware various different disguises, and let me tell you if I could have armour that made me look like this I'd have rolled a human female warrior.

She just looks so bad ass wielding those great big axes and the look is totally ruined by that silly plate armour we have to ware.

The quests in Northrend are pretty cool. You get to see all kinds of things. Like a rhino god rampaging after you set him free.


Or a battle between titans.


Use funky items that can throw you from dragon to dragon simply because you want to beat up their riders and they don't have the common decency to be on the ground like normal mobs.


You also meet some interesting characters in your travels. I for example met and was escorted to safety by, Harrison Jones.


Go questing in Northrend without a flying mount and you notice one thing. Cliff's. The damned things are everywhere and always getting in the way. This however does provide it's own entertainment when your an engineer as you can simply take the short way down.



The other thing you will notice is that the people of Northrend will get you to ride just about anything imaginable. Like Dragons.


Bears with freaky glowing eyes.


Giants.

Giant Kitty Cats.


Mammoth's


They will even go so far as to have you surfing on a Crocodile.



Why do they do this?

My bet is they get some weird enjoyment out of sending adventurers off on whatever bizarre creature they happen to have on hand. They probably have a little get together later on and compete to see who sent you off on the weirdest thing.

The moment, however, that completed my levelling experience was being asked this question just before I dinged 80. Screenshot time stamped for your enjoyment.


I was just on my way back to hand in a few quests when Elix popped online with perfect timing. Thanks man you made my day. That's all that I can really remember of the sleep deprived blur that was levelling Dorfageddon. I could make some pretty interesting stuff up to fill more space but decided against it.

One thing I do remember though is looking around after I logged off after hitting level 80 and thinking "Holy shit! What the hell happened to my flat?" My room was a mess, My computer table looked like someone had been using it as a garbage dump and the dishes in the sink were piled up as if somebody had tried to recreate the Leaning Tower of Pisa using only dirty dishes.

I had hit 80 but at what cost?


Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.

I Hate Gear Score.

As you know I hit 80 early yesterday and have been busy pugging my little dwarven butt off. This has lead me to a realisation.

This is that there are few things in this game that I just don't understand, and gear score is one of them. Well I do understand it, I just pretend not to and put my hands over my ears screaming "LA LA LA LA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU." until the silly person stops talking to me. I don't know what my gear score is, I don't want to know what my gear score is. If I knew what it was it would make me like one of them.

I swear to you that if one more asshat starts spamming his gear score at me in the middle of a run while he's got no gems and less enchants I'm going to break something ... that or get another cookie. Cookies make everything better.

Several times I've had to get up in the middle of a pug and go and eat a cookie just to calm down. Things would get broken otherwise and I can't afford a new gaming mouse, these things cost 50 Euro a pop, and for some bizarre reason are not designed to be thrown across the room in a fit of rage. Don't the designers of these mice know their target audience are socially maladjusted gamers prone to fits of rage? My next mouse is going to be impact resistant and to be brought out only in the event of pugging.

Ok I'm getting way off the subject here. Time to get back on track.

It seems that every time someone mentions gear score to me they are one of the above mentioned gemless wonders. or gave gemmed and enchanted for some bizarre stat. Like Ret Paladins gemming spellpower and in one truly awe inspiring case a Warrior doing the same (yes I needed a cookie). Or seeing epic 30 stam gems on any dps. If you want the socket bonus that badly get a damned split gem.

The fact that it is normally this type of person telling me their gear score has led to anyone at all mentioning it to me to be targeted with my well deserved scorn. It has also lead to a varied list of responses to someone telling me what their magic number is. These are use at random depending on how mean, playful, sarcastic or in need of a cookie I'm feeling. I guess I should share these with you so that they can be used on more of the Gemless Wonder population than I can reach by myself. These are:

Asshat: My gear score is XXXX
Me: So THAT'S why you don't need any gems.

Asshat: My gear score is XXXX
Me: You have a gear score of XXXX and I have half a brain.
Me: <--- winner

Asshat: My gear score is XXXX
Me: Wow that's a LOT more than your dps.

Asshat: My gear score is XXXX
Me: Then why am I beating you on the damage meter?

Asshat: My gear score is XXXX
Me: Your penis must be HUGE!

Asshat: My gear score is XXXX
Me: Welcome to my ignore list. You've now one of the few, the proud, the retarded.
Me: /ignore asshat.

Asshat: My gear score is XXXX
Me: ... brb getting a cookie.

Asshat: My gear score is XXXX
Me: If it's not over 9000 I don't want to hear about it.
(I don't use this one often as a lot of people just don't seem to get it)

Asshat: My gear score is XXXX
Me: Wow that incredible.
Me: Please excuse me as I stand awestruck by your gear score at work.
[Proceed to spend the next three pulls standing behind the asshat randomly /golfclap ing]

Anyway I'm sorry for delaying my "Getting to level 80" post yet again but this just had to be vented otherwise I would have had to unleash it on guild chat.

Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.

I Did It.

I did it, I got to level 80, and I stayed up all last night making sure I did. This means that I'm in no condition to make a proper post about it. I'll be back when my brain is giving me someting more constructive than a line of dots.

What's that brain?
......................
Is that so brain?
................ ........ ...
Really now?
........ ........ .. ... ......

As you can see I need to put brain to bed, so I'm off to have some milk and cookies then sleep for a while.

Yes I'm having milk and cookies. If you have a problem with that tough. Milk and cookies rocks and you just don't know what your missing out on.

Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.

Burnout.

Dorfageddon is Level 73 and my non stop levelling frenzy has finally run it's course. Maybe it's the fact that I've spent so many days at it. Maybe it's the fact the even though I'm so close, the grind of these final levels makes the goal so far away. Maybe it's the fact I've entered the Grizzly Hill's where I hate almost every quest in there. Whatever the reason I just don't want to log on, I probably will log on though, through force of habit if nothing else.

Back to my hate of the Grizzly Hill's. Don't get me wrong on this, I think that it's a beautifully designed zone, I just hate questing there. This is possibly because the quests are so disjointed, making you travel hither and thither to get just a couple of quests completed. I've always enjoyed grabbing a bunch of quests then butchering my way around the map, where as this place sends you of to one place to kill a few then off to another to kill a few more then back the the quest giver before you can kill anything else. I hates it, I hates it a lot.

There is, however, one saving grace to this otherwise horrific zone. The toilet. For the first time ever your character gets to go potty.

There is at least one person on the development team who has a fascination with bodily functions. His quests have had me looking through no less than three different types of animal crap. This quest must be his masterpiece. The first time I ever did this quest the noise and the animation surprised me so much I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.

Searching through my Screenshots for that pic left me with the desire to do an overview of my levelling experience this time around. It may just be enough to push me through these final levels.

Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.

I Sold Out.

I have betrayed everything I believe in. I no longer have the right to be viewed as a human being. I should end it all right now and spare the world the burden of my presence.

What the hell am I talking about?

Can't you tell?

I went fury that's what.

Now you see what I was talking about. How despicable I am. How, how ... how ... words fail me. I wont try to justify it I'll just give you the details. Maybe telling the story of my fall into depravity will bring me some of the solace I so desperately need.

It all started when I hit level 68 and was finally able to flee the Outlands for the greener pastures of Northrend. I'd heard all the story's, how the rivers flowed with wine and the XP was all free. Rather like the cake, it was a lie.

I got off the boat in Borean Tundra and right from the get go I was being eaten alive. It was a case of , Kill, bandage, kill, bandage, kill, eat some food because I have the recently bandaged debuff. In fact it was rather like every other level until now ... only more so. And the more I did the more and more tempting that juicy self healing of fury seemed.

Then it happened. I got my second green two hander that was better than my Outlands blue axe. The temptation was just too much for me to bare. I handed in my quests and hearthed back to get dual spec. Well I wasn't going to get rid of Bladestorm altogether now was I? 1000 gold seemed a small price to pay to be able to Bladestorm when I wanted to.

Anyway I got back to Borean Tundra and started laying into things with some trepidation. This was soon overwhelmed by shear amazement ant the healing glyphed Bloodthirst coupled with Blood Craze could do. Bloodthirst ends up returning 6% of my health every four seconds and every time a mob scores a crit on me Blood Craze does the same. I was barely having to bandage at all. as soon as I get Enraged Regeneration I don't think I'll ever have to bandage again...

... Unless I do something stupid

... I'll definitely do something stupid

... Doing stupid things is practically all I do while levelling

... better make sure I have a whole bag full of those lovely life saving bandages

This is just great. I've betrayed my principles for the wonderful payment of "slightly less bandaging". That's it, I definitely need my head checked. I'm off now to drown my sorrows in beer and cookies (the worlds greatest combination). Catch you next time and

Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.

Where's My Muffin Tabard?

I'm sorry that I reneged on my promise to post yesterday but I had a long day of work and was going to post when I got home, but Dorfageddon was looking at me with those deranged puppy dog eyes, begging me to level him. You get the feeling that if you leave him alone your going to have something worse that your favourite slippers chewed up.

Bladestorm was just two levels away and there was no way in hell that he was going to let me do some silly typing while it was so close and not his. So I ground out the last two levels and bam, juat as I'm putting in the talent point I'm hit with probably the most stupid question I've ever been asked.

This game should damned well know by now that when I put a talent point into Bladestorm I damned well mean it.

Anyway I was going to log off and make a post at this point, but the little voice in my head started up.

Voice: "Your really going to log off?"

Me: "Yes I promised to post today."

Voice: "Are you sure? You've gone through 60 levels without it, aren't you even going to test it out? Just to make sure that it's as increadable as you remembered."

Me: "... well ... I'll just test it out, it would be a shame to just leave it sitting there after all."

[Commence 30 minutes of Bladestorming fun]

At this point Bompi my on and off levelling partner pipes up suggesting that we go do Hellfire Ramparts now that we are both at the right level. I was going to say no but once again that little voice in my head put it's 2 cents in and I ended up saying yes.

We have to hang around for about 30 minutes waiting for a tank. I of course spend this time constructively by randomly Bladestorming anything that gets in my way, and a few things I needed to go out of my way for.

Why?

Because I could.

Finally a tank shows up and we hit the instance ready and willing to kick some arse. Two pull in (I thought I was showing quite some restraint waiting even that long) I pop Bladestorm and pull aggro.

What's wrong with that?

Isn't Bladestorm a valid alternative to an AoE taunt?

Well yes popping Bladestorm and pulling aggro are often synonymous, to the point where it should have the flavour text Bladestorm: Killing warriors since 3.0 . This would all have been just fine if the mob had then not disarmed me.

Yes that's right. My very first instance Bladestorm. Not even two whirls of death into the fun I get disarmed. This also would have been alright if blizzard had simply left it at the point where you end up spinning around smacking things with your fists ... In fact that would have been so incredibly awesome it's not funny. But no, this alas is not the case. When you get disarmed Bladestorm just stops and you end up sitting there looking stupid while punching things.

This meant that there was rage ...
Lots of rage ...
And swearing ...
Many naughty words were said and meant.

In the time it took for us to get to the last boss my rage had managed to cool itself ... just. On this last boss there is a polearm that drops, and it is Awesome. I wanted this Awesome, Stuntyone had this Awesome when he first levelled and loved it.

Awesome drops. Cue gleeful, joyous squealing. Click need. Watch as the prot paladin with Bind to Account Items says "gonna need for my dps". Watch the Paladin click need. Watch as the paladin wins the Awesome.


Yes that's right, this meant that once again there was rage....
Lots of Rage ...
And swearing ...
Many naughty words were said and meant.

This of course meant that I could not possibly log off and go write a post. Not with the Awesome snatched from my grasp. Back into LFG we go. Back into ramparts. This time we get a DK tank who seems determined to kill everyone by pulling constantly while Bompi (the healer) is on low or zero mana. But we persevere and get to the final boss and what do you know Awesome drops again. Both Bompi and I need on it to help guarantee I get it this time. Bompi wins the roll and trades it to me. YAY, I haz Awesome.

Why do I call it Awesome?

Let me show you.


Its because it looks Awesome has Awesome stats for it's level and when you Bladestorm. You guessed it, super Awesome.

P.S. You see that blank Tabard? Yes the grey one. Our guilds GM got hacked while I was away and the guild got disbanded and nobody has bothered to redesign the tabard. I have made my views clear on this and how I want a muffin on my tabard. I have been promised a muffin on my tabard. So where's my freaking muffin. I want my muffin and I want it now!

Anywho that's enough rambling from me for now, so until next time.

Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.

Meltdown.

No post today. Ground out 6 levels, and had my brain melt something like 2 hours ago. I'll write something tomorrow I promise.