Sorry for my recent silence a I have been suffering from medical problems recently and most of my non-wow time has been spent knocked out by painkillers. These things are so strong that when I take them I can't leave the house for fear of passing out somewhere. The other reason is that the ICC buff is up to 25% making all our heroic mode progress seem incosequential to me.
That's enough of my excuses, back to the topic at hand.
The last 2 days I've been leading a 10 man run, mostly normal modes with a few easier heroic modes thrown in, and let me tell you it's like my own personalised hell.
First off for a 10 man you have to spend about 30 minutes each day just to get the team together. It's summer and people would rather be doing summery out door real life things, damn them, How dare they do real life stuff when I have a raid to get started. Well in the end I settled for anything I could get, offspecs, alts, offspecs of alts, whatever the hell you are just get in my raid and help me kill some stuff.
After this is over the real "fun" begins. Firstly people expect you to know what the hell your doing, ok that's fine I can handle doing my own job no problem ...
Wait?
What?
You want me to tell you what the hell you supposed to be doing as well?
You mean you don't know?
How many (BEEP)ing times have you done this fight? You should (BEEP)ing know it off by heart at this stage.
Healing assignments? Wont (BEEP)ing give 'em.
Your the (BEEP)ing healers you know your jobs and who is better at what, sort it out yourselves.
These are normal modes face roll them and collect your loot damn it! Everyone clear on that? Ok, good lets do this.
Ok this boss we are going to do on heroic, has everyone done it before and knows what they are doing?
What?
You want a brief overview of the fight? Well its heroic mode so I guess that's ok.
{increase tolerance levels, and give overview}
Ok let's do this.
WHAT THE (BEEP)!!!!
How the (BEEP) did you manage that?
Guys, seriously, that was just (BEEP)ing awful.
You will NOT fail at that again or I will mother (BEEP)ing rage at you with my (BEEP)ing socially maladjusted temper. Ok? Try it again.
Well that's basically how it went throughout the entire first night. We ended up only doing two heroic modes with attempts on two others and 9 manning a lot if it due to a DC with no replacement. We however did manage to clear everything up to Lich king in the one night.
Cue day two, with even more problems getting a group together as two of the people who said they would be there didn't show as well as having to find replacements for those who had said that they couldn't make it after day one.
After much begging and cajoling we get started.
Now this is Lich King who we don't kill very often so I had set my tolerance levels to maximum. This is not saying a lot though.
Not everyone has done this fight and even more have not done it in their current role. So I unbegrudgingly gave out role's positioning and an overview of all abilities. I also willingly gave myself the role of calling dps switch's and halts.
Ok. Everyone Ready?
Lets do this!
Wait?
What?
You need me to call out every single ability also?
You have the (BEEP)ing timers don't you?
Ah (BEEP) it!
Ok I'll do it, try again.
(BEEP).
Come on guys that's a basic mechanic of this fight do I really need to tell you how to do it?
Well THIS is how you do it. Now get it right.
(BEEP).
Ok you got that part right but, hugging each other during defile is NOT the right way to do things.
That's basically how the entire 2 hours of the second night went. Our best try was ruined by me getting a 3 second power cut. I (BEEP)ing raged.
The only advantages to the 2 night run was that:
One, I learnt the benefit of not naming and shaming a person that makes a mistake. This is because they KNOW who they are and what they did and raging at the whole raid makes EVERYONE more aware of that particular mistake and less likely to do it.
Two, I learnt that the one time you don't call out an ability is the one time that EVERYONE decides to screw it up.
Three, I learnt that being responsible for everyone increases your focus and game play by a huge amount.
Four, I learnt that I have absolutely no problem telling people that they sucked major ass on that last try, and that they had better not do it again.
Five, I have a whole new respect for our raid leaders who manage to organise and lead 25 man raids without killing anyone or having a mental breakdown.
Anyway that's enough from me for now.
Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
When My Guild Gets Bored.
When my guildies get bored anything is likely to happen, from the normal running of old instances, getting me to fury tank heroics, to the bizarre Ogre dance show.
Complete with heroism for extra size and ended with the live tea-bagging of a gnome. Don't ask, in truth your better off not knowing, but we did manage to gather quite a crowd to watch us.
Then there was the mammoth parade that started with Joe yelling "You know what I hate?" , "Mammoth Parade!", he then mounted on his mammoth and slow walked a bit. this was the result.
Yeah there's a lot of bored people out there.
This next one only needs 2 of you, a paper zeppelin, something to run around and about an hour.
One of you runs clockwise the other anticlockwise and when you pass each other you throw the zeppelin, soon you have a whole fleet of the little buggers chasing you. After this I was inundated with whispers asking me what the hell that was.
Anyway that's just a little taste if the madness that happens when you gather a few bored SoL'ers together.
Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.
Complete with heroism for extra size and ended with the live tea-bagging of a gnome. Don't ask, in truth your better off not knowing, but we did manage to gather quite a crowd to watch us.
Then there was the mammoth parade that started with Joe yelling "You know what I hate?" , "Mammoth Parade!", he then mounted on his mammoth and slow walked a bit. this was the result.
Yeah there's a lot of bored people out there.
This next one only needs 2 of you, a paper zeppelin, something to run around and about an hour.
One of you runs clockwise the other anticlockwise and when you pass each other you throw the zeppelin, soon you have a whole fleet of the little buggers chasing you. After this I was inundated with whispers asking me what the hell that was.
Anyway that's just a little taste if the madness that happens when you gather a few bored SoL'ers together.
Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.
Friday, June 4, 2010
When WoW Goes Wrong.
I got back ingame today, after a truly epic quest to find a game card, but we wont go into that as it's a long story that would serve no other purpose than to satisfy my desire to grumble about it. Suffice it to say that it is best to never try and hitch hike out of a town where a biker rally is being held when your a bearded skin head (It's not my fault that I stated developing a receding hair line at the age of nineteen, I blame those pesky genetics thingamajigs).
Anyway I got online and as if to welcome me back in true blizzard fashion, at some point between doing my random for my daily frost emblems and completing my daily quests, all the instance servers for our battle group went down. This meant no LFG and no pug raids, so after this had finally sunk in to even the most oblivious of would be raid leaders trade chat was whittled down to what passes for wit and jest amongst it's denizens. This being whatever passes for [Dirge] spam at the moment. It was time to conclusively and irrevocably leave trade chat.
This left us with the dilemma as to what we would do now. I had planned on continuously pugging random heroics while mining then using the emblems on epic gems to make some gold.
This plan shot to hell I wandered aimlessly around Ironforge pondering what the hell I should do with my time now that I had finally made it back to WoW. Then as if in divine response to my pondering into Guild Chat pops "[Yoona] has earned the achievement [25 Fish].". Well done Yoona, I never got around to leveling fishing on this guy at all yet. I had, however, trained fishing but my skill remained at 1/75.
So off I strolled to the fishing trainer in Ironforge to buy myself a fishing pole and get started. Recently, I have no idea exactly when, they changed it so that you could level fishing from 1-450 without ever moving from the one spot.
This now being the case I moseyed across from the trainer to the conveniently placed pool of water in which I could fish and made a start on levelling my fishing. Only a few casts in I was startled to receive an achievement.
I had completely forgotten about this guy, who had driven many of my guildies to distraction trying to procure. Needless to say this caused a bit of a stir in Ventrillo and guild chat and I was sure that much hate mail would be coming my way. This was then Guaranteed but my second achievement.
The time stamps say it all folks. I had caught Old Ironjaw before completing the 25 fish achievement.
The lovely Bompi suggested over vent that I should go get all the other rare fish to make them even more jealous. This lead to a discussion as to what the other things I could fish up were and the Giant Sewer Rat was mentioned. It's location being conveniently placed in the Dalaran sewers I hearthed back boldly declaring that I would catch it before the [50 Fish] achievement.
I was offered rewards totalling up to 3,000 gold if I could achieve this .Yoona, although being one of the offerees, was determined to catch it before me., and so our contest began.
I failed miserably to win the offered gold but our banter on vent also sparked others into a fishing frenzy. Soon Guild Chat was flying with achievements of numbers of fish caught or new levels of fishing being trained. It even prompted Bloodthrust who had never even gotten fishing 1/75 on any character ever into the game. We had to explain to him the process of fishing, like having to equip the fishing rod, click on the skill icon, click on the fishing bobber when it moved and how this might be slightly harder than playing a Death Knight.
Very soon the number of guildies contesting over the Giant Sewer Rat began to grow.
Various member came and went as they became intrigued then bored by our contest. The only two constants were Yoona and myself. We sat there for hours only leaving our PC's once by mutual consent to a coffee run.
In the end it came down to four competitors for the rat. Yoona and myself of course, but also Bloodthrust had returned and while having absolutely no interest what so ever in fishing he has a competitive streak a mile wide. Where Bloodthrust is being competitive you can usually find Lau egging him on and this case was no exception.
To while away the time everyone on vent started comparing statistics, duscussing how fishing and other professions had changed. I told of how I used to spend hours at a time in the Burning Crusade fishing so that I could bribe our healers with Fish Sticks. The healing food of choice at the time. We tried and failed to discover the drop rate of the rat we were so desperately seeking. We fished on the water (thank you path of frost), off the water, seated, standing, disguised, transformed, and with every minion or pet that could be summoned.
Despite these distractions the boring monotony of fishing was getting to me and I complained loudly and fervently over vent that I wished one of us, and I didn't care who it was, would catch the damned thing so that I could stop fishing, but there was no way in hell that I was going to back out of the competition.
Shortly there after it finally happened.
Vent exploded, mostly with me shouting expletives and imprecations over vent. Apparently Yoona had done the same but only without the push-to-talk button pressed. I think that both our neighbours must have been wondering what could have caused such an outburst from people seated in front of a PC at 11 pm our time.
Our contest concluded we were left once again with the question as to what to do to occupy ourselves. With four of us in a party we tried to PuG a random in the hope that the instances had been fixed.
No such luck for whatever reason the final dps needed just timed out over and over and over again. Something like 5 times in a row before we gave up.
Thinking that the instances might be back up but the LFG system still screwed we decided to attempt to four man Trial of the Crusader with one tank and one healer. We didnt expect to make it but we thought we'd have a laugh anyway.
Again no such luck after being left staring at a 0% completed loading screen for about 10 minutes we get dropped back outside with the message that the instance could not be found. Damn.
How about some world bosses? lets go see if That guy in Hellfire Peninsula is there. Nope he's not.
Shall we try Magtheridon since we're here? Nah. There's only four of use we cant even click all the cube plus the instance wont work.
Lets go see if Doomwalkers about to kill. Nope no him either.
That dragon in Darkshire? again no no and no.
Well screw this buggy game it's bed time.
Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.
Anyway I got online and as if to welcome me back in true blizzard fashion, at some point between doing my random for my daily frost emblems and completing my daily quests, all the instance servers for our battle group went down. This meant no LFG and no pug raids, so after this had finally sunk in to even the most oblivious of would be raid leaders trade chat was whittled down to what passes for wit and jest amongst it's denizens. This being whatever passes for [Dirge] spam at the moment. It was time to conclusively and irrevocably leave trade chat.
This left us with the dilemma as to what we would do now. I had planned on continuously pugging random heroics while mining then using the emblems on epic gems to make some gold.
This plan shot to hell I wandered aimlessly around Ironforge pondering what the hell I should do with my time now that I had finally made it back to WoW. Then as if in divine response to my pondering into Guild Chat pops "[Yoona] has earned the achievement [25 Fish].". Well done Yoona, I never got around to leveling fishing on this guy at all yet. I had, however, trained fishing but my skill remained at 1/75.
So off I strolled to the fishing trainer in Ironforge to buy myself a fishing pole and get started. Recently, I have no idea exactly when, they changed it so that you could level fishing from 1-450 without ever moving from the one spot.
This now being the case I moseyed across from the trainer to the conveniently placed pool of water in which I could fish and made a start on levelling my fishing. Only a few casts in I was startled to receive an achievement.
I had completely forgotten about this guy, who had driven many of my guildies to distraction trying to procure. Needless to say this caused a bit of a stir in Ventrillo and guild chat and I was sure that much hate mail would be coming my way. This was then Guaranteed but my second achievement.
The time stamps say it all folks. I had caught Old Ironjaw before completing the 25 fish achievement.
The lovely Bompi suggested over vent that I should go get all the other rare fish to make them even more jealous. This lead to a discussion as to what the other things I could fish up were and the Giant Sewer Rat was mentioned. It's location being conveniently placed in the Dalaran sewers I hearthed back boldly declaring that I would catch it before the [50 Fish] achievement.
I was offered rewards totalling up to 3,000 gold if I could achieve this .Yoona, although being one of the offerees, was determined to catch it before me., and so our contest began.
I failed miserably to win the offered gold but our banter on vent also sparked others into a fishing frenzy. Soon Guild Chat was flying with achievements of numbers of fish caught or new levels of fishing being trained. It even prompted Bloodthrust who had never even gotten fishing 1/75 on any character ever into the game. We had to explain to him the process of fishing, like having to equip the fishing rod, click on the skill icon, click on the fishing bobber when it moved and how this might be slightly harder than playing a Death Knight.
Very soon the number of guildies contesting over the Giant Sewer Rat began to grow.
Various member came and went as they became intrigued then bored by our contest. The only two constants were Yoona and myself. We sat there for hours only leaving our PC's once by mutual consent to a coffee run.
In the end it came down to four competitors for the rat. Yoona and myself of course, but also Bloodthrust had returned and while having absolutely no interest what so ever in fishing he has a competitive streak a mile wide. Where Bloodthrust is being competitive you can usually find Lau egging him on and this case was no exception.
To while away the time everyone on vent started comparing statistics, duscussing how fishing and other professions had changed. I told of how I used to spend hours at a time in the Burning Crusade fishing so that I could bribe our healers with Fish Sticks. The healing food of choice at the time. We tried and failed to discover the drop rate of the rat we were so desperately seeking. We fished on the water (thank you path of frost), off the water, seated, standing, disguised, transformed, and with every minion or pet that could be summoned.
Despite these distractions the boring monotony of fishing was getting to me and I complained loudly and fervently over vent that I wished one of us, and I didn't care who it was, would catch the damned thing so that I could stop fishing, but there was no way in hell that I was going to back out of the competition.
Shortly there after it finally happened.
Vent exploded, mostly with me shouting expletives and imprecations over vent. Apparently Yoona had done the same but only without the push-to-talk button pressed. I think that both our neighbours must have been wondering what could have caused such an outburst from people seated in front of a PC at 11 pm our time.
Our contest concluded we were left once again with the question as to what to do to occupy ourselves. With four of us in a party we tried to PuG a random in the hope that the instances had been fixed.
No such luck for whatever reason the final dps needed just timed out over and over and over again. Something like 5 times in a row before we gave up.
Thinking that the instances might be back up but the LFG system still screwed we decided to attempt to four man Trial of the Crusader with one tank and one healer. We didnt expect to make it but we thought we'd have a laugh anyway.
Again no such luck after being left staring at a 0% completed loading screen for about 10 minutes we get dropped back outside with the message that the instance could not be found. Damn.
How about some world bosses? lets go see if That guy in Hellfire Peninsula is there. Nope he's not.
Shall we try Magtheridon since we're here? Nah. There's only four of use we cant even click all the cube plus the instance wont work.
Lets go see if Doomwalkers about to kill. Nope no him either.
That dragon in Darkshire? again no no and no.
Well screw this buggy game it's bed time.
Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Points on Raiding.
My return to raiding has brought home again all those hard won points that I had learned. At least it's easier the second time around.
I have died in almost every imaginable way on every boss I have ever encountered. Doing crazy or stupid things or even stupidly crazy things is not only common for me but almost a calling card of my raiding carrier.
I'm probably the only dps that regularly gets buffed with beacon of light, and I'm pretty sure that half our healers have a special unit frame for me.
I have stood in, run through, been hit by, transferred wrongly just about every deadly ability ever invented on any boss.
If it has a cleave I've been cleaved.
If it has a tail swipe I've been sent flying by it.
If it has fire, slime, void zones, or big swirly graphics that scream get out of this spot, I've stood in that spot.
I've Intervened the tank instead of charging the boss.
I've airburst the tank.
I've body pulled while the raid is still positioning.
I've fat fingered Mocking Blow.
I've been in the wrong stance and taunted instead of rending.
I've attacked and pulled aggro before the tank has even sneezed at the boss. (once taking out half the raid healers in the process)
I've jumped across on the gunship battle after we had won.
I've charged Arthas before defile was cast gotten the debuff mid charge and dumped it right under the tank.
I've mistakenly alt tabbed, alt F4'd, kicked the power button, and in one bizarre accident demolished my entire pc table, in the middle of a boss fight.
What I'm trying to get at is that I have first hand knowledge of how to screw up on any and every encounter in the game.
What have I learned from all this, shall we say, "Testing of the game mechanics"? Well it has birthed what I refer to as "The Incompetent Check-list (tm)" or "How Not to be Raged At".
When you study a new boss fight:
1)(i) Know what your class/role should be doing in this fight.
1)(ii) Know what your class/role might even possibly be called upon to do in this fight.
2) Figure out where you should be in every single phase of the fight, an more importantly where you should really really not be.
3) Check, double check, triple check, then check again for any debuff that might possibly even slightly cause you to wipe the entire raid with your screw ups. Move to number 4, 5 or 6 as appropriate.
4)(i) Realise that there is no debuff that can possibly lead to your demise let alone the demise of others.
4)(ii) Get cocky and embarrass yourself by dieing stupidly but without causing wide spread havoc.
5)(i) Realise that there is a debuff that can kill you but not those around you.
5)(ii)Get so focused on the debuff that you actually get it right only to then get cleaved as a healer or something equally silly.
6)(i) Realise that there is a debuff that can kill not only you but the entire raid if you mess it up.
6)(ii) Be afraid, be very afraid.
6)(iii) Think at all times at any possible moment that you are going to be targeted with the debuff and know where, what, when, you are supposed to, move to, move from, no move at all. Get it right, then accidentally walk over a ledge in your relief.
7)(i) Actually encounter the fight.
7)(ii) Panic.
7)(iii) Run around screaming "THIS IS NOTHING LIKE THE VIDEO!"
7)(iv) Wipe.
7)(v) Analyse what actually happened and how it related to what you studied. Then re-implement "The Incompetent Check-List (tm)" skipping point 7 and it's sub categories unless you never got past subcategory 7)(ii).
8)(i) Wipe as many times as necessary.
8)(ii) Collect Loot.
8)(iii) Collect GP.
8)(iv) Realise that in direct defiance of all known mathematics you are now on negative prio.
8)(v) Cry as the guild tabard gets to collect your best in slot items before you do.
Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.
I have died in almost every imaginable way on every boss I have ever encountered. Doing crazy or stupid things or even stupidly crazy things is not only common for me but almost a calling card of my raiding carrier.
I'm probably the only dps that regularly gets buffed with beacon of light, and I'm pretty sure that half our healers have a special unit frame for me.
I have stood in, run through, been hit by, transferred wrongly just about every deadly ability ever invented on any boss.
If it has a cleave I've been cleaved.
If it has a tail swipe I've been sent flying by it.
If it has fire, slime, void zones, or big swirly graphics that scream get out of this spot, I've stood in that spot.
I've Intervened the tank instead of charging the boss.
I've airburst the tank.
I've body pulled while the raid is still positioning.
I've fat fingered Mocking Blow.
I've been in the wrong stance and taunted instead of rending.
I've attacked and pulled aggro before the tank has even sneezed at the boss. (once taking out half the raid healers in the process)
I've jumped across on the gunship battle after we had won.
I've charged Arthas before defile was cast gotten the debuff mid charge and dumped it right under the tank.
I've mistakenly alt tabbed, alt F4'd, kicked the power button, and in one bizarre accident demolished my entire pc table, in the middle of a boss fight.
What I'm trying to get at is that I have first hand knowledge of how to screw up on any and every encounter in the game.
What have I learned from all this, shall we say, "Testing of the game mechanics"? Well it has birthed what I refer to as "The Incompetent Check-list (tm)" or "How Not to be Raged At".
When you study a new boss fight:
1)(i) Know what your class/role should be doing in this fight.
1)(ii) Know what your class/role might even possibly be called upon to do in this fight.
2) Figure out where you should be in every single phase of the fight, an more importantly where you should really really not be.
3) Check, double check, triple check, then check again for any debuff that might possibly even slightly cause you to wipe the entire raid with your screw ups. Move to number 4, 5 or 6 as appropriate.
4)(i) Realise that there is no debuff that can possibly lead to your demise let alone the demise of others.
4)(ii) Get cocky and embarrass yourself by dieing stupidly but without causing wide spread havoc.
5)(i) Realise that there is a debuff that can kill you but not those around you.
5)(ii)Get so focused on the debuff that you actually get it right only to then get cleaved as a healer or something equally silly.
6)(i) Realise that there is a debuff that can kill not only you but the entire raid if you mess it up.
6)(ii) Be afraid, be very afraid.
6)(iii) Think at all times at any possible moment that you are going to be targeted with the debuff and know where, what, when, you are supposed to, move to, move from, no move at all. Get it right, then accidentally walk over a ledge in your relief.
7)(i) Actually encounter the fight.
7)(ii) Panic.
7)(iii) Run around screaming "THIS IS NOTHING LIKE THE VIDEO!"
7)(iv) Wipe.
7)(v) Analyse what actually happened and how it related to what you studied. Then re-implement "The Incompetent Check-List (tm)" skipping point 7 and it's sub categories unless you never got past subcategory 7)(ii).
8)(i) Wipe as many times as necessary.
8)(ii) Collect Loot.
8)(iii) Collect GP.
8)(iv) Realise that in direct defiance of all known mathematics you are now on negative prio.
8)(v) Cry as the guild tabard gets to collect your best in slot items before you do.
Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.
I Haz Trinket!
Good news everyone. My internet is back and tomorrow I get ingame again.
Also.
The trinket is not a lie!
As it turns out I am just paranoid and they aren't out to get me ... I hope. I can however only think of it as a cruel joke that I got it so close to being hard capped as arms and not so very far off the hard cap as fury. Just two easily obtainable upgrades and I'm hard capped as arms a third upgrade, also easy, and the fury hard cap is mine.
...
I think I'll go cry in a corner now.
Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.
Also.
The trinket is not a lie!
As it turns out I am just paranoid and they aren't out to get me ... I hope. I can however only think of it as a cruel joke that I got it so close to being hard capped as arms and not so very far off the hard cap as fury. Just two easily obtainable upgrades and I'm hard capped as arms a third upgrade, also easy, and the fury hard cap is mine.
...
I think I'll go cry in a corner now.
Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.
Happiness. (posted against my better judgment)
*** WARNING *** This post has nothing to do with WoW at all and was more of a personal attempt to stave off boredom. Please feel free to ignore it (Heck, I'd probably thank you for doing so).
I haven't posted in a while, mainly because I haven't been playing WoW. Not by choice but due to lack of funds making it impossible for me to renew my subscription, and since this is a WoW blog this left me with nothing to write about. However not posting is a bad habit to get into, also I enjoy writing in this completely uninhibited style that is blogging, having to conform to no rules or formulae except those which I impose upon myself. So I shall fill this blank with a bit of personal rambling, and possibly a generalised WoW post or two until I start playing again.
So for now I will expound upon one of those abstract questions that plague my mind from time to time. The latest of which being "What is happiness?". This little guy has been attacking me for the past day or so. Not in a "Why am I not happy?" kind of way, but as more of a distracting pursuit for an otherwise idle mind.
Almost immediately anyone will come to the realisation that happiness is completely and utterly subjective.
Some people will tell you happiness is being with your loved ones. To others it is being financially secure. To some it is a good meal with pleasant company. To others yet happiness is time off work with a good book. A man going through basic training in the army once told me that happiness is getting proper bunk time.
As you can see happiness is many things to many different people.
So what makes me happy?
As it turns out happiness for me is simplicity itself to achieve. A cigarette, a coffee and something to distract my mind for the next hour or two is all it takes. So as I sit here puffing my hand rolled cigarette, drinking my overly strong instant coffee and typing away seemingly at random on my keyboard am I happy?
Hell yes.
Happiness itself being so simple for me to achieve means that is was to answer to answer my question. However this leads on to the question as to why these simple things make me happy when the others I can live with or without. This is much harder to answer, so I'll get up now, have another cigarette and put the kettle on while I compose the next few paragraphs in my mind ... in complete contentment.
Well I'm back and I'm caffeinated.
To answer why it is these simple things that make me happy I realise that I will first have to dissect why the others hold small interest for me.
Now to deal with the first of the reasons I listed above, happiness is being with your loved ones. First of all I am not in, have recently been in, or even looking to be in, an intimate relationship. A couple of past, soured relationships have left me with little drive in this area. Call it disillusionment, call it bitterness, call it being unable to find someone willing or able to put up with my "Unique" personality and assorted strange personal traits.
As to family. Well in my family we have always had a quite reserved affection which was more akin to the classic upper middle class English style than the modern family environment. This is not to say I lacked affection as a child or ever felt unloved, just that we were more reserved about it than most families. Also for most of my formative years we lived far removed from my extended family, and I'm not talking a short couple of hours flight away removed, I'm talking half way around the world removed meaning that even phone calls from relatives was more of a yearly event at it's most frequent. This means that knowing that everyone is alive and well and seeing my immediate family every six month or so is more than enough.
As for friends, to have known them well and to have counted them amongst my friends is more important to me than being able to see them on a regular basis. This may seem cold to you, but is also a by product of my childhood. My family moved, we moved a lot. Between the start of primary school and the end of my high school education, I had been in nine different schools and four different countries. Making new friends and then saying goodbye to them became a regular part of my childhood experience. This may seem sad but I still remember each of them from the age of four when I started school till this day. The good friends, the bad, the troublesome to the down right strange. Each and every one of them is still as dear to me today as they were the day I met them, and when I meet them or hear news about them I always feel like it was just yesterday we last met rather than weeks months or years, this may be because that while people change it is rarely to the point of unrecognisability, and being so used to change I find it much easier to adjust to the changes in them than others might be.
(this has become much more personal than I ever intended it to be, I wonder if I should even post this at all).
Lets move on from the first example to the second, happiness being financial stability. This also can be attributed to my formative years. My family has been both very well off and so completely poor that sliced bread was actually a treat. It was not just a simple switch from one to the other, but rather a fluctuation between these two states of financial solvency. So I have been both spoiled by wealth and and living on the bread line several times. Looking back on the memories of these times I can tell you without a trace of a lie that I was as happy being in one state as the other.
This has had a couple of impacts on my life. One being that I actually lost a job over my inability to be driven by the prospect of higher wages and material benefits. My superior at the time could not understand how these things didn't interest me, him being a business man through and through. Had he instead offered me the prospect of learning new and interesting things, or the prospect of applying my knowledge in new ways I would probably still be in that same line of work. However he did not, and I am not.
The other is that while I am at the moment poor, to the point of being unable to afford a 30 Euro game card, I am unashamedly so, and feel none of the social stigma usually attached to my financial state.
My next example has posed a bit of a problem for me, so it is time yet again for me to take a stroll to the kettle, roll another cigarette and examine my thoughts on it. If you think I smoke a lot (well I do but I'll get to that later) please remember that what takes you less thana minute to read may take over an hour to write depending on my mood, inspiration, or ability to remember that word that just slipped my mind and is really bugging me.
I'm back again, once more pumped up on caffeine and mellowed by nicotine.
The good food and company example posed a problem for me because I am very happy when presented with this situation but never feel any real craving for it. Thus I have had to examine it a little more closely than the others.
Dealing with the good company, for me this means an engaging conversation, which is merely another distraction to occupy my mind. Which is one of the things that do make me happy but can be replaced by a plethora of other pursuits.
While it's true that I feel great satisfaction after eating a good meal in a high class restaurant, I also feel the same contentment after eating a bowl of 25 cent instant noodles sitting in front of my PC. It's not a matter of environment as I have been educated in table manner to a high degree by my father who once worked as a Master of Etiquette in his youth, and a quick look around in any restaurant will tell you to what degree you are expected to know these and adjust your manners accordingly.
It's also not a matter of disinterest. I have known people who viewed eating as nothing more interesting than refilling the car at a petrol station, and I can categorically say that I am not like that. I'm also a passable cook (though I don't like people to know this as often they then ask me to cook for them) and in my experience you can't make good food unless you enjoy it yourself.
I think what it comes down to is a matter of attitude towards food. To me food is something to be enjoyed, weather it be the bowl of instant noodles or the finest cuisine, each is to be savoured in it's own way. This could explain why I have enjoyed eating the liver, kidney, heart of various animals, in addition to tripe, crocodile, dog, and kangaroo. If I ever do find a place that serves the brain of an animal I'll probably try and enjoy that also. The only foods that I wont eat are raw olive and banana. The banana because uncooked it gives me heart burn for some odd reason, though I love it (the banana not the heart burn). The olives remain a mystery to me and about once a year I will eat one just to see if I like them yet ... I never do but I keep trying.
Now for my final example, bunk time. This one's simple. I'm an insomniac. It's not uncommon for me to got two to three days without sleep, then crash for anywhere between five to fifteenth hours, depending on how stressed my brain has become. After more than 72 hours I tend to get a little strange and usually force myself into closing my eyes for a couple of hours at least either through various mental tricks, or in extreme cases of insomnia, medication. In addition while I enjoy sleeping in, I've always hated going to sleep feeling that sleep was somehow stealing away a part of my precious life. A contradiction of both liking the act of, and hating the thought of sleep.
Speaking of sleep I've been up for over 36 hours and have business to take care of tomorrow so it's time to force myself into that loved and hated act. I'll pick this up tomorrow.
Well I back and partially rested.
Since I've examined my general examples and why they are not the things that truly make me happy (Although I willingly admit that without at least a little of each my life would be a lots less enjoyable), it's time to examine why these three simple things make me so content.
Lets start with smoking as this is probably the most controversial and most likely to send me off on a tangent ranting about something completely unrelated ... in fact I guarantee it will.
I'm an addict, a no holds bard nicotine addict. This I freely admit with no reservations, and most importantly no regret. I will say this to you now as clearly as I can, in capitals, bold and italics just to get it though to you. I ENJOY SMOKING! Please please please, to all you moralist, socially well adjusted busy-bodies, let that sink in. The very day I realise that I no longer enjoy the act of smoking will be the day I quit.
Do I realise the risk I'm taking and the harm I'm doing to my body every time I light up?
YES!
Again in capitals, bold and italics. Probably much better than 99.9% (overstated statistics FTW) of the people that have asked me this question. I have taken courses in both Biochemistry and Human Biology looked at what all the prominent documented evidence and statistics have to say and looked at what the statistics don't say (anyone with half a brain will realise that the last is just as important as all the others). I have been subjected to all the scare tactics people have used to discourage smoking, up to and including being shown the damage done to the lungs and heart by a lifetime of smoking, not just the pictures but the actual lungs and heart. Not pleasant I'll grant you, but if that wasn't enough to make me stop then what chance do you think your pestering me will have?
Hell, while I'm in rant mode I might as well ask you what makes you even think you have the right to tell me in the slightest how the fuck I should live my life?
I'm sorry to those of you who know me and have asked me this question or told me to stop smoking out of genuine concern for my well-being but this is the rage I have to suppress every time I'm asked about it. So for both our sakes just don't.
How do I justify my smoking habit?
That's easy. I don't. I don't see why I have to or even should.
Can I?
If I think about it, which I did today, I can. At least to the extent where I happy with it and really that's all that anyone justifying something is concerned with. I'm not overweight (which can be as detrimental to your heath as smoking but you don't see me accosting fat people I just met, or even know well, and telling them to shed a few pounds). I don't do drugs beyond the legal nicotine, caffeine and ethanol. I don't drink to excess more than once or twice a year, and to excess for me is anything beyond 3 pints of beer, a limit I rarely even reach let alone exceed. I don't gamble not even rolling against Bloodthrust for WoW gold bets (wait, I tell a lie I did that once ... and lost). My vice of choice, my poison if you will, is limited to smoking.
As for the effects of second hand smoke, I don't smoke anywhere near the young, I'm not allowed to smoke in pub's or any place of work. The only confined place I'm allowed to smoke is in my own home, and for your information I live alone, and if I have non-smoking guests I open the windows. Don't even think about telling me the effect I have on people while smoking on the street. You see that car that just passed you? Yeah the one that isn't even putting out visible smoke. That just did more damage to you than I ever will.
When you look at all the potential damage I could be doing to myself, being allowed to smoke without being constantly moralised at is not asking a lot from anyone.
I told you I would rant off on a tangent.and that ranting about smoking has left me with the desire for a cigarette and a coffee (and a cookie for making the rage go away). Another stroll to the kitchen is in order I think.
I'm back again. You notice the breaks I've put into this post? They actually happen in ever single post I make that is over 100 words. I just thought I'd give you an idea of the length of time I put into each of my posts.
Anyway onto the second part of my happiness combination. The coffee. I indulge in this much like I do smoking, only this time I know for a fact that I'm not addicted just glutinous.
How do I know I'm not addicted?
Because I can and do quit all caffeine intake periodically. for periods ranging from three days to three month. This includes all forms of caffeine intake including tea and soft drinks.
Why?
Because despite smoking much more than is healthy (arguably smoking at all is more than is healthy) I am at least somewhat conscious of my health. So when my coffee intake reaches truly unhealthy levels I cut all intake for a period so that when I return to it my intake is reduced to a more normal and socially acceptable level.
Why drink it at all if I know it will go out of proportion at some point?
Pleasure of course. The stimulation of the caffeine combined with the comforting warmth of the liquid and mug, is a pleasure that is unmatched by any other drink for me. Unlike most males in Ireland nine times out of ten I will choose coffee over an alcoholic beverage. I have gotten some very strange looks by asking for coffee in a night club.
This brings me to the last and actually the most crucial of my happiness combination. Something to keep my mind occupied. Without this last one the other two don't even really provide any comfort at all. If I can't find something to keep my brain occupied I literally go stir crazy.
This is a problem caused because I'm smart. I'm not a genius by any stretch of the imagination. Depending on which of the many IQ tests I've been subjected to over my educational period you go by, my IQ lies somewhere between 135 and 145. Results varied depending on the time of day, how much sleep I'd had over the last three days and how much coffee I'd had that day (this last factor didn't come into it until I was 17 and started drinking it), and of course the subjectivity of the test itself. Take any two different IQ tests back to back and you will get two different results.
I was later to find out that two of the IQ tests I was subjected to were initiated because a teachers thought I was mentally retarded because I couldn't concentrate on the class for more than a minute at a time. As well as one eye test because a teacher thought that my inability to concentrate was somehow related to being unable to see the blackboard (At the time I had 20/20 vision so very unlike now).
This was early in my education where a shy child who couldn't concentrate was mistaken for a retard, so very very flattering.
The truth was that I found each and every part of the subjects taught interesting, for at least ten seconds each until we got to the bit where we had to repeat what we had just learned over and over again. At this point I would become distracted by the way the bird outside the window flew or behaved while looking for food, sometimes it was the construction of the desk that interested me. I remember being confused by the texture and density of two different erasers and how technically the same object could be so very different. Another time it was the make up of my pencil that intrigued me for over an hour trying to figure out how they got the lead inside until I eventually broke the pencil open and found that it was made of two different coloured pieces of wood, being 5 at the time this didn't give me the answer only more questions. Most of the time however it would be just some random thought that sent me off into a world of my own until the teacher would call my name loudly, or hit me with a piece of chalk, eraser, or in the case of one right bastard of a teacher, a meter rule. He was one of the ones who thought I was retarded.
The other one who thought I was mentally deficient thought so because I couldn't copy more than two letters at a time from the blackboard. This it turns out was because I'm dyslexic, a fact that wasn't identified until I was nearly 18.
This is because to get those annoying teachers off my back I had learnt to read through a form of pattern recognition very akin to skim or speed reading and to write through a form of mind story telling which forced me to associate a special pattern to each word allowing me to place the letters in the correct order. This doesn't always work as anyone who has seen my guild chat will testify to. I also developed my own short hand much earlier than most in my education because otherwise I never managed to copy everything from the blackboard in time. At 12 I had started shortening some of the common words and by 16 had a fully fledged short hand that was half classic short hand half pictogram and all unintelligible.
There was also one teacher who insisted that I was to stupid to be in the mathematics class I was in until he learned that I was slow to answer some questions because due to an associative memory disorder (yeah, I may be smart but my brain doesn't work properly even half the time) I had never learned even half of the times tables ( to this day if you ask me what 8x8= I'll have to add 8+8 double it and double it again). When asked to show him how I arrived at a certain solution without them I had to write several different equations simply to come up with parts of the equation that would be simple with proper knowledge of the full times tables. I never had any problems with other math teachers since he was the only one who insisted that you solve a percentage of the questions he asked you without a calculator.
My associative memory disorder wasn't discovered until I was 20 by a history professor who could not understand why I could remember, with a slight prompt to get me started, the story and reason behind a certain law or bill that was passed but be unable to remember the name of it or the date it was passed. The psycologist he passed me onto was able to identify the problem and teach me some associative memory tricks that helped but I have never mastered them to the extent of being able to pass a history exam.
Ok I got way way off track here I'm not sure how I got onto my mental and schooling difficulties but the point is that I never mastered the art of doing nothing and have to constantly have something to occupy my mind with or I become highly agitated.
The only real substitute I ever found was strenuous physical activity. This however is partially denied to me due to a misspent youth resulting in a missing knee tendon, and a large amount of bone, muscular, ligament and cartilage damage. Being both accident prone and an adrenalin junkie is a recipe for disaster.
By the time I realised this I was left with two bad knees two bad ankles, a bad shoulder a bad elbow, neck problems, back problems (mild thank god) and the inability to make a proper fist with my right hand.
The lesson here is that intelligence is no substitute for half a cup full of common sense, which I lack.
(Reading over this I kind of feel like I'm standing naked in front of a crowd. I'm not sure that this post will ever make it out of the drafts folder and into the blog and if it does then I hope that most of you will have heeded the warning and never read this far.)
I haven't posted in a while, mainly because I haven't been playing WoW. Not by choice but due to lack of funds making it impossible for me to renew my subscription, and since this is a WoW blog this left me with nothing to write about. However not posting is a bad habit to get into, also I enjoy writing in this completely uninhibited style that is blogging, having to conform to no rules or formulae except those which I impose upon myself. So I shall fill this blank with a bit of personal rambling, and possibly a generalised WoW post or two until I start playing again.
So for now I will expound upon one of those abstract questions that plague my mind from time to time. The latest of which being "What is happiness?". This little guy has been attacking me for the past day or so. Not in a "Why am I not happy?" kind of way, but as more of a distracting pursuit for an otherwise idle mind.
Almost immediately anyone will come to the realisation that happiness is completely and utterly subjective.
Some people will tell you happiness is being with your loved ones. To others it is being financially secure. To some it is a good meal with pleasant company. To others yet happiness is time off work with a good book. A man going through basic training in the army once told me that happiness is getting proper bunk time.
As you can see happiness is many things to many different people.
So what makes me happy?
As it turns out happiness for me is simplicity itself to achieve. A cigarette, a coffee and something to distract my mind for the next hour or two is all it takes. So as I sit here puffing my hand rolled cigarette, drinking my overly strong instant coffee and typing away seemingly at random on my keyboard am I happy?
Hell yes.
Happiness itself being so simple for me to achieve means that is was to answer to answer my question. However this leads on to the question as to why these simple things make me happy when the others I can live with or without. This is much harder to answer, so I'll get up now, have another cigarette and put the kettle on while I compose the next few paragraphs in my mind ... in complete contentment.
Well I'm back and I'm caffeinated.
To answer why it is these simple things that make me happy I realise that I will first have to dissect why the others hold small interest for me.
Now to deal with the first of the reasons I listed above, happiness is being with your loved ones. First of all I am not in, have recently been in, or even looking to be in, an intimate relationship. A couple of past, soured relationships have left me with little drive in this area. Call it disillusionment, call it bitterness, call it being unable to find someone willing or able to put up with my "Unique" personality and assorted strange personal traits.
As to family. Well in my family we have always had a quite reserved affection which was more akin to the classic upper middle class English style than the modern family environment. This is not to say I lacked affection as a child or ever felt unloved, just that we were more reserved about it than most families. Also for most of my formative years we lived far removed from my extended family, and I'm not talking a short couple of hours flight away removed, I'm talking half way around the world removed meaning that even phone calls from relatives was more of a yearly event at it's most frequent. This means that knowing that everyone is alive and well and seeing my immediate family every six month or so is more than enough.
As for friends, to have known them well and to have counted them amongst my friends is more important to me than being able to see them on a regular basis. This may seem cold to you, but is also a by product of my childhood. My family moved, we moved a lot. Between the start of primary school and the end of my high school education, I had been in nine different schools and four different countries. Making new friends and then saying goodbye to them became a regular part of my childhood experience. This may seem sad but I still remember each of them from the age of four when I started school till this day. The good friends, the bad, the troublesome to the down right strange. Each and every one of them is still as dear to me today as they were the day I met them, and when I meet them or hear news about them I always feel like it was just yesterday we last met rather than weeks months or years, this may be because that while people change it is rarely to the point of unrecognisability, and being so used to change I find it much easier to adjust to the changes in them than others might be.
(this has become much more personal than I ever intended it to be, I wonder if I should even post this at all).
Lets move on from the first example to the second, happiness being financial stability. This also can be attributed to my formative years. My family has been both very well off and so completely poor that sliced bread was actually a treat. It was not just a simple switch from one to the other, but rather a fluctuation between these two states of financial solvency. So I have been both spoiled by wealth and and living on the bread line several times. Looking back on the memories of these times I can tell you without a trace of a lie that I was as happy being in one state as the other.
This has had a couple of impacts on my life. One being that I actually lost a job over my inability to be driven by the prospect of higher wages and material benefits. My superior at the time could not understand how these things didn't interest me, him being a business man through and through. Had he instead offered me the prospect of learning new and interesting things, or the prospect of applying my knowledge in new ways I would probably still be in that same line of work. However he did not, and I am not.
The other is that while I am at the moment poor, to the point of being unable to afford a 30 Euro game card, I am unashamedly so, and feel none of the social stigma usually attached to my financial state.
My next example has posed a bit of a problem for me, so it is time yet again for me to take a stroll to the kettle, roll another cigarette and examine my thoughts on it. If you think I smoke a lot (well I do but I'll get to that later) please remember that what takes you less thana minute to read may take over an hour to write depending on my mood, inspiration, or ability to remember that word that just slipped my mind and is really bugging me.
(By the way do you know how hard it is to find an image of someone actually enjoying a cigarette?)
I'm back again, once more pumped up on caffeine and mellowed by nicotine.
The good food and company example posed a problem for me because I am very happy when presented with this situation but never feel any real craving for it. Thus I have had to examine it a little more closely than the others.
Dealing with the good company, for me this means an engaging conversation, which is merely another distraction to occupy my mind. Which is one of the things that do make me happy but can be replaced by a plethora of other pursuits.
While it's true that I feel great satisfaction after eating a good meal in a high class restaurant, I also feel the same contentment after eating a bowl of 25 cent instant noodles sitting in front of my PC. It's not a matter of environment as I have been educated in table manner to a high degree by my father who once worked as a Master of Etiquette in his youth, and a quick look around in any restaurant will tell you to what degree you are expected to know these and adjust your manners accordingly.
It's also not a matter of disinterest. I have known people who viewed eating as nothing more interesting than refilling the car at a petrol station, and I can categorically say that I am not like that. I'm also a passable cook (though I don't like people to know this as often they then ask me to cook for them) and in my experience you can't make good food unless you enjoy it yourself.
I think what it comes down to is a matter of attitude towards food. To me food is something to be enjoyed, weather it be the bowl of instant noodles or the finest cuisine, each is to be savoured in it's own way. This could explain why I have enjoyed eating the liver, kidney, heart of various animals, in addition to tripe, crocodile, dog, and kangaroo. If I ever do find a place that serves the brain of an animal I'll probably try and enjoy that also. The only foods that I wont eat are raw olive and banana. The banana because uncooked it gives me heart burn for some odd reason, though I love it (the banana not the heart burn). The olives remain a mystery to me and about once a year I will eat one just to see if I like them yet ... I never do but I keep trying.
Now for my final example, bunk time. This one's simple. I'm an insomniac. It's not uncommon for me to got two to three days without sleep, then crash for anywhere between five to fifteenth hours, depending on how stressed my brain has become. After more than 72 hours I tend to get a little strange and usually force myself into closing my eyes for a couple of hours at least either through various mental tricks, or in extreme cases of insomnia, medication. In addition while I enjoy sleeping in, I've always hated going to sleep feeling that sleep was somehow stealing away a part of my precious life. A contradiction of both liking the act of, and hating the thought of sleep.
Speaking of sleep I've been up for over 36 hours and have business to take care of tomorrow so it's time to force myself into that loved and hated act. I'll pick this up tomorrow.
Well I back and partially rested.
Since I've examined my general examples and why they are not the things that truly make me happy (Although I willingly admit that without at least a little of each my life would be a lots less enjoyable), it's time to examine why these three simple things make me so content.
Lets start with smoking as this is probably the most controversial and most likely to send me off on a tangent ranting about something completely unrelated ... in fact I guarantee it will.
I'm an addict, a no holds bard nicotine addict. This I freely admit with no reservations, and most importantly no regret. I will say this to you now as clearly as I can, in capitals, bold and italics just to get it though to you. I ENJOY SMOKING! Please please please, to all you moralist, socially well adjusted busy-bodies, let that sink in. The very day I realise that I no longer enjoy the act of smoking will be the day I quit.
Do I realise the risk I'm taking and the harm I'm doing to my body every time I light up?
YES!
(rant mode on)
Again in capitals, bold and italics. Probably much better than 99.9% (overstated statistics FTW) of the people that have asked me this question. I have taken courses in both Biochemistry and Human Biology looked at what all the prominent documented evidence and statistics have to say and looked at what the statistics don't say (anyone with half a brain will realise that the last is just as important as all the others). I have been subjected to all the scare tactics people have used to discourage smoking, up to and including being shown the damage done to the lungs and heart by a lifetime of smoking, not just the pictures but the actual lungs and heart. Not pleasant I'll grant you, but if that wasn't enough to make me stop then what chance do you think your pestering me will have?
Hell, while I'm in rant mode I might as well ask you what makes you even think you have the right to tell me in the slightest how the fuck I should live my life?
(rant mode off)
I'm sorry to those of you who know me and have asked me this question or told me to stop smoking out of genuine concern for my well-being but this is the rage I have to suppress every time I'm asked about it. So for both our sakes just don't.
How do I justify my smoking habit?
That's easy. I don't. I don't see why I have to or even should.
Can I?
If I think about it, which I did today, I can. At least to the extent where I happy with it and really that's all that anyone justifying something is concerned with. I'm not overweight (which can be as detrimental to your heath as smoking but you don't see me accosting fat people I just met, or even know well, and telling them to shed a few pounds). I don't do drugs beyond the legal nicotine, caffeine and ethanol. I don't drink to excess more than once or twice a year, and to excess for me is anything beyond 3 pints of beer, a limit I rarely even reach let alone exceed. I don't gamble not even rolling against Bloodthrust for WoW gold bets (wait, I tell a lie I did that once ... and lost). My vice of choice, my poison if you will, is limited to smoking.
As for the effects of second hand smoke, I don't smoke anywhere near the young, I'm not allowed to smoke in pub's or any place of work. The only confined place I'm allowed to smoke is in my own home, and for your information I live alone, and if I have non-smoking guests I open the windows. Don't even think about telling me the effect I have on people while smoking on the street. You see that car that just passed you? Yeah the one that isn't even putting out visible smoke. That just did more damage to you than I ever will.
When you look at all the potential damage I could be doing to myself, being allowed to smoke without being constantly moralised at is not asking a lot from anyone.
I told you I would rant off on a tangent.and that ranting about smoking has left me with the desire for a cigarette and a coffee (and a cookie for making the rage go away). Another stroll to the kitchen is in order I think.
I'm back again. You notice the breaks I've put into this post? They actually happen in ever single post I make that is over 100 words. I just thought I'd give you an idea of the length of time I put into each of my posts.
Anyway onto the second part of my happiness combination. The coffee. I indulge in this much like I do smoking, only this time I know for a fact that I'm not addicted just glutinous.
How do I know I'm not addicted?
Because I can and do quit all caffeine intake periodically. for periods ranging from three days to three month. This includes all forms of caffeine intake including tea and soft drinks.
Why?
Because despite smoking much more than is healthy (arguably smoking at all is more than is healthy) I am at least somewhat conscious of my health. So when my coffee intake reaches truly unhealthy levels I cut all intake for a period so that when I return to it my intake is reduced to a more normal and socially acceptable level.
Why drink it at all if I know it will go out of proportion at some point?
Pleasure of course. The stimulation of the caffeine combined with the comforting warmth of the liquid and mug, is a pleasure that is unmatched by any other drink for me. Unlike most males in Ireland nine times out of ten I will choose coffee over an alcoholic beverage. I have gotten some very strange looks by asking for coffee in a night club.
This brings me to the last and actually the most crucial of my happiness combination. Something to keep my mind occupied. Without this last one the other two don't even really provide any comfort at all. If I can't find something to keep my brain occupied I literally go stir crazy.
This is a problem caused because I'm smart. I'm not a genius by any stretch of the imagination. Depending on which of the many IQ tests I've been subjected to over my educational period you go by, my IQ lies somewhere between 135 and 145. Results varied depending on the time of day, how much sleep I'd had over the last three days and how much coffee I'd had that day (this last factor didn't come into it until I was 17 and started drinking it), and of course the subjectivity of the test itself. Take any two different IQ tests back to back and you will get two different results.
I was later to find out that two of the IQ tests I was subjected to were initiated because a teachers thought I was mentally retarded because I couldn't concentrate on the class for more than a minute at a time. As well as one eye test because a teacher thought that my inability to concentrate was somehow related to being unable to see the blackboard (At the time I had 20/20 vision so very unlike now).
This was early in my education where a shy child who couldn't concentrate was mistaken for a retard, so very very flattering.
The truth was that I found each and every part of the subjects taught interesting, for at least ten seconds each until we got to the bit where we had to repeat what we had just learned over and over again. At this point I would become distracted by the way the bird outside the window flew or behaved while looking for food, sometimes it was the construction of the desk that interested me. I remember being confused by the texture and density of two different erasers and how technically the same object could be so very different. Another time it was the make up of my pencil that intrigued me for over an hour trying to figure out how they got the lead inside until I eventually broke the pencil open and found that it was made of two different coloured pieces of wood, being 5 at the time this didn't give me the answer only more questions. Most of the time however it would be just some random thought that sent me off into a world of my own until the teacher would call my name loudly, or hit me with a piece of chalk, eraser, or in the case of one right bastard of a teacher, a meter rule. He was one of the ones who thought I was retarded.
The other one who thought I was mentally deficient thought so because I couldn't copy more than two letters at a time from the blackboard. This it turns out was because I'm dyslexic, a fact that wasn't identified until I was nearly 18.
This is because to get those annoying teachers off my back I had learnt to read through a form of pattern recognition very akin to skim or speed reading and to write through a form of mind story telling which forced me to associate a special pattern to each word allowing me to place the letters in the correct order. This doesn't always work as anyone who has seen my guild chat will testify to. I also developed my own short hand much earlier than most in my education because otherwise I never managed to copy everything from the blackboard in time. At 12 I had started shortening some of the common words and by 16 had a fully fledged short hand that was half classic short hand half pictogram and all unintelligible.
There was also one teacher who insisted that I was to stupid to be in the mathematics class I was in until he learned that I was slow to answer some questions because due to an associative memory disorder (yeah, I may be smart but my brain doesn't work properly even half the time) I had never learned even half of the times tables ( to this day if you ask me what 8x8= I'll have to add 8+8 double it and double it again). When asked to show him how I arrived at a certain solution without them I had to write several different equations simply to come up with parts of the equation that would be simple with proper knowledge of the full times tables. I never had any problems with other math teachers since he was the only one who insisted that you solve a percentage of the questions he asked you without a calculator.
My associative memory disorder wasn't discovered until I was 20 by a history professor who could not understand why I could remember, with a slight prompt to get me started, the story and reason behind a certain law or bill that was passed but be unable to remember the name of it or the date it was passed. The psycologist he passed me onto was able to identify the problem and teach me some associative memory tricks that helped but I have never mastered them to the extent of being able to pass a history exam.
Ok I got way way off track here I'm not sure how I got onto my mental and schooling difficulties but the point is that I never mastered the art of doing nothing and have to constantly have something to occupy my mind with or I become highly agitated.
The only real substitute I ever found was strenuous physical activity. This however is partially denied to me due to a misspent youth resulting in a missing knee tendon, and a large amount of bone, muscular, ligament and cartilage damage. Being both accident prone and an adrenalin junkie is a recipe for disaster.
By the time I realised this I was left with two bad knees two bad ankles, a bad shoulder a bad elbow, neck problems, back problems (mild thank god) and the inability to make a proper fist with my right hand.
The lesson here is that intelligence is no substitute for half a cup full of common sense, which I lack.
(Reading over this I kind of feel like I'm standing naked in front of a crowd. I'm not sure that this post will ever make it out of the drafts folder and into the blog and if it does then I hope that most of you will have heeded the warning and never read this far.)
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
It Seemed Like a Good Idea At The Time.
It always does and it never is. That is the lesson you can take away from today's post.
What seemed like a good idea?
Yes I suppose I'd better tell you about it.
It was late at might, about midnight game time, and there was someone in trade organising a Trial of The Grand Crusader pug, and I wanted in on it as there is a very nice trinket that drops there and my trinkets are not just bad, they are down right embarrassing.
Anyway this guy wanted you to whisper him your role, gear score and achievement. The first two I could get but since this is a new account I have no achievements at all. Thus there was no spot for me.
We were talking about it in guild chat, and about how I hated myself for now knowing my gear score. when Joe pops up with the suggestion that I should whisper him my penis size and post the response in g-chat.
I thought this was a fantastic plan and promptly did so.
I whispered him with the length of my penis and asked him if it was long enough to do ToGC. He whispered back with saying it was to long. I then posted both the question and answer in G-chat. The question because it made the answer make more sense.
This had two regrettable effects.
The first of which was to instantly turn G-chat into a copy of trade chat when the kids get off school. It went on for about 15-20 minute with Items and achievements linked to make sexual innuendos.
The second was (and this I didn't think about until I logged off) that a whole bunch of guild members, including at least one female player, now knows the length of my penis.
Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.
What seemed like a good idea?
Yes I suppose I'd better tell you about it.
It was late at might, about midnight game time, and there was someone in trade organising a Trial of The Grand Crusader pug, and I wanted in on it as there is a very nice trinket that drops there and my trinkets are not just bad, they are down right embarrassing.
Anyway this guy wanted you to whisper him your role, gear score and achievement. The first two I could get but since this is a new account I have no achievements at all. Thus there was no spot for me.
We were talking about it in guild chat, and about how I hated myself for now knowing my gear score. when Joe pops up with the suggestion that I should whisper him my penis size and post the response in g-chat.
I thought this was a fantastic plan and promptly did so.
I whispered him with the length of my penis and asked him if it was long enough to do ToGC. He whispered back with saying it was to long. I then posted both the question and answer in G-chat. The question because it made the answer make more sense.
This had two regrettable effects.
The first of which was to instantly turn G-chat into a copy of trade chat when the kids get off school. It went on for about 15-20 minute with Items and achievements linked to make sexual innuendos.
The second was (and this I didn't think about until I logged off) that a whole bunch of guild members, including at least one female player, now knows the length of my penis.
Welcome to the return of The Incompetent Warrior.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)